july is *my* month

*taps mic*

Oh hey, hello, what's up? It's been awhile. I'm still in the thick of my journey and have had some setbacks. Today, I begin again. I really thought I would have more to say on this but honestly, anything I write now would all be excuses and me trying to justify why I fell off the wagon. I definitely do not want to do that because it would just be a waste of time on both our parts. 

I'm here and I plan to show up every day. I'll probably have more bad days than good and I definitely will be anything but perfect, but that is ok. 

first week thoughts

^^^day 1^^^

^^^day 2^^^

^^^day 3^^^

^^^day 4^^^

I'm currently on Day 5 of Nutrisystem's Fast Five and I'm so ecstatic to say that I've lost 4.8 lbs! Honestly, I would have been happy with a 1 lb loss due to thyroid issues so to see that I've lost this much weight?! I honestly do not have the words to describe how I am feeling. I'm super FREAKING happy though. 

Oh and I also did my 3 workouts this week escalating from walking + dancing for 30 min on to Crazy 8's from Cize to Turbo Fire's Fire Starter. After which my body said, nope. You can't do this too fast hunnay. I'm currently nursing a sprained left wrist and am trying to walk/dance without using my left arm too much. 

A few thoughts: Day 1 was THE hardest day. I woke up hungry, stayed hungry throughout the day & by the end of the day I was questioning my sanity. I wouldn't be able to do this if I was the same type of hungry...er... hangry on Day 2 as I was on Day 1. Luckily, I think things started to settle down for me on Day 3 and yesterday was my best day so far. To be fair, I had my lifestyle meal on Friday so that may have helped! 

So far, Day 5, is going well. I've had my Shakeology & breakfast muffin and I'm debating what 'healthy thing' to have with my lunch but I should probably go grocery shopping first. I'm even more determined today than I was before I began this journey so I'm just going to keep on keeping on. 

let's get physical!

After I typed out the title of this post I went and google'd Olivia Newton John and voila... Heh. 

My Nutrisystem order came in this past Thursday. I didn't want to start without doing my check-ins (i.e. weigh in, measurements & pictures) and I wouldn't have time to do it until this weekend so I decided against starting it right then and there. I initially thought that I would be able to begin Fast 5 on Monday but then I was reminded about this work thing that is catered and I won't be able to bring food from the outside and I really would like to follow the first 5 days to a T so I finally just decided to start on Tuesday. I'll still do my check-ins today or tomorrow just to be prepped and ready and will try to eat intuitively until then. I'm not counting calories yet but I guess we shall see.

Also, I may have weighed myself yesterday just to see how I was doing and I'm pretty happy that by being mindful of what I eat and starting to exercise again I'm down just a teensy tiny bit. It's not even a pound but because of my hypothyroidism, weight loss is in general a lot harder for me than the average person, so I will take whatever weight loss I can achieve and be happy.

reflections


I've been watching the QVC presentations on Nutrisystem on and off all day today. I've cried a bit. Because I am literally there. I don't even have my first order yet and I'm all discombobulated & anxious. 

Sometimes I feel guilty and like a failure because I have to go this route. I'm so ashamed that I have to ask for help. Because I can't do it on my own. I mean, I've lost weight before. Then I've gained it all back. I feel like I'm in the yo-yo diet business for life. But no... I don't want that. 

I want off that ride. 

Cause I've tried everything. And I'm tired of being sick and tired. I am ashamed to do things socially. I hold myself back. I absolute hate going to the doctor's because I am afraid of getting berated. I mean, it's not like he is mean but I guess it's more that I tired of being told to lose weight. 

I've been trying. I get it. I've lost control and I can't do it on my own. So I'm trying this. Please god, let this work. 

new year, new me

I just ordered Nutrisystem off of QVC for me. Hector does not have as much weight to lose as I do so this is strictly for me. I'm also still a coach on Beachbody and still use Shakeology. I also have that gym membership to the Y thanks to a discount from my job. I don't know how much more ready I can be because I am SO EFFING ready to make 2017 my bizzatch! 

In all seriousness though. I really need to lose weight. And I'm less inclined to do it because I want to be skinny (although, let's be real, that is a VERY nice side effect) but this is strictly for me to become healthier. I am too young to be suffering from all of the stuff I am suffering from. :/

Good luck to me because I know I'm going to need it. 

Do you have any exciting goals for 2017?

off my game

I went to the gym today. I think the last time I was there was in April so this was long overdue. I'm officially tired AF tho so this entry will be short and sweet. 

Oh yeah, I finally tried avocado toast for the first time at this cafe called Crema here in Nashville. I paired it with an iced cuban coffee and it was divine. I have a feeling this will be repeated monthly. 

Have a good night!

daily eats + plans

breakfast - shakeology

lunch - the chocolate buzz + quinoa salad

snack - peppercorn cashews + the pink drink from starbucks

dinner - panera salad

The last time I took all of my stats was June 12. I had my pictures and all of my measurements at the ready to send to my Coach. In the end, I chickened out. I don't know why but I just didn't do it. 

Today, I will re-take everything. Pictures, weight, measurements, etc. And I'll be sending to my Coach. Because I want, no, need to be held accountable for my actions. I never would have believed that I could let myself go like this. My self esteem is pretty low and my health is really not great at all. 

And I've been ignoring it for far too long. I need to get right. 

I have to lose at least a 100 lbs. It's so daunting when looking at it as a whole but my friend once told me to look at it in bits and pieces. So I will take a page from Weight Watchers and celebrate my 5%, 10%, 15%, 20% goals and try to melt the pounds away that way. 

Somethings gotta give, ya know?

the beginning

I decided late last night that I would begin to get serious about weight loss again. After my husband and I got home from celebrating the fourth I got super motivated. Of course it helped that the friends we hung out with were fit and fabulous. We got home at around midnight and as I scheduled a blog post for the upcoming weeks I decided that I felt like dancing! 30 min later and I was a sweaty mess but it felt great! When I looked at the clock, I saw the numbers 1:30 and decided to post in my long ignored facebook group for weight loss and healthy living. I am done with excuses. Sure, life and work gets in the way, but the truth of the matter is, you will make time for something if you really want it bad enough.